Her Juggling Feet

everybody's a nobody. and nobody's perfect.

Thursday, November 30, 2006


Today, I feel grateful--smooth, flowing waves of it, combining with the rain that drapes me in a hazy veil when I walk between buildings at Lost Valley. I feel grateful to be supported like I have been, to reconnect with friends first in the Bay Area and then in Eugene and to receive their graciousness and friendship.

Beate and I arrived at Lost Valley a few weeks ago. I feel like I never left. Participating in the Heart of Now workshops, being in the kitchen, keeping my feet dry by the fire, enjoying the creek, and seeing Cody, the community golden retriever who pushed his nose in my lap my first night back in impatient recognition, of "come on, let's go for a walk already!"... it is nice to be welcomed, and remembered.

I am traveling with Beate for the next few months--exploring different eco-villages and permaculture sites throughout the US, while giving presentations (illustrative story-telling, we call it) about our time in the Caravan. We are both on a search for home, though in different ways. Beate has the intention of creating an eco-village in Brasil when she returns at the end of April. Me, I am still searching inside myself. I notice that home, or the concept of it, feels more important to me now than it has in the past. I feel that it might be okay to have roots for awhile. I want to be able to plant seeds come spring.

I've come back to the US with big dreams, intimidation, fear, joy... I feel overwhelmed by all the possibilities of where I could go and what I could do. I think about going back to school again. I consider what it would be like to stay in Eugene, with the world's first bio-diesel gas station that sells organic Blue Sky soda and local soft-serve coconut ice cream (vegan). If this is an indicator of progressiveness, have I reached my eco-topia?

I am staying present with what is happening at Lost Valley and what might happen in my travels with Beate. In every transitional place in my life, doors have opened and I have had some incredible help in choosing which step to take next. If anything, I feel so passionate about this planet, this life, and being part of the transformation. I want to cook, garden, dance, write, explore, teach, organize, create, perform, and re-write the home-ec recipes in all the middle school curriculum so they won't include anything that calls for a microwave or something that comes out of a box.

I take the train home for Christmas, pulling into St. Cloud's little depot on December 20th. Back to the West Coast come January to continue the expedition to Washington and that's as far as the Plan goes. Well, the Plan actually has us going all over the country, from Montana to Missouri, to North Carolina to New Hampshire, all in a matter of months, but I remain open to what (and who) shows up along the way.

Maybe you?